Crime, Rats and Hoodrodents

What a week for the greatest diarist of our time, James LaFond, to be absent from the internet and from the place of his birth!  Baltimore and it's illustrious political representatives have come under vicious attack by the King of New York, who types his verbal missiles into twitter dot com from the unjustly occupied throne in the fetid swamps at the foot of the Potomac.

Here are some of the calumnies carelessly flung by the President:

Rep, Elijah Cummings has been a brutal bully, shouting and screaming at the great men & women of Border Patrol about conditions at the Southern Border, when actually his Baltimore district is FAR WORSE and more dangerous. His district is considered the Worst in the USA......

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) July 27, 2019

....As proven last week during a Congressional tour, the Border is clean, efficient & well run, just very crowded. Cumming District is a disgusting, rat and rodent infested mess. If he spent more time in Baltimore, maybe he could help clean up this very dangerous & filthy place

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) July 27, 2019

What's that you say, Donald J. Trump?  Baltimore is dangerous?  Rat AND rodent infested?  Let us turn to the only journalist who honestly covering Baltimore, James T. LaFond.

Dear James, is Baltimore rat infested?

Rats thrive were there are dirt basements. They feast on the trash in the alley—and even on the dog shit that is deposited there. What really enables rats is litter, the fact that most people throw their garbage on the ground. Really, that redneck in Essex you see throwing the wrapper from his cigarettes out the window is demonstrating what keeps rats going, our primate penchant for messy disposal of our waste.

Dear James, is Baltimore dangerous?

Pound-Per-Pound Title
As in most contact sports, the top finishers are in the lighter weights:
#1: Saint Louis Lips with 205 of 300,000 killed
#2: District Heights Maryland Mudsharks with 4 of 6,000 killed
#3: Harm City Hoodrats, with 342 of a disputed 600,000 killed [the goboment says around 617k while vacancy rates argue for 597k]

Finally, as Editor in Chief of Crackpot Books and CFO and COO of Crackpot Industries, allow me to link you to my favorite piece of 2017 and one of the top ten on jameslafond.com:

An Eerie Glimpse of The New Police State

The kid then points at the man with the backpack, surrounded by freaks, whores, sluts drunks and cops, while a dozen cops supervise the clean-up of a fender bender in front of the Hustler Club, two cops in tactical uniforms with DETECTIVE emblazoned in yellow across their jackets escort dancers to the parking garage, two more tactical detectives walk along with the three stellar hos and another tactical cop with DETECTIVE stamped on his chest shadow boxes out of pure boredom in the Fast Park lot, and says, "Y’all gotz ta be fuckin’ shitting me! There five-o everywhere!”

This is really a small sample of the journals that Professor LaFond has compiled on the subject.  You can check the Harm City tab, and the bookstore (click the picture) below for more:

(c) 2019 James LaFond