Flood No. 12

1980, Lombard Street Store

Israel had gotten to know Mister Santoni from delivering and picking up drop shipments in the company truck, a panel truck, not the old van from back in the day.  This was the flagship store down in Highlandtown.  He got along well enough with the receiver, Ed, as well.  The closer, Stump, who was an assistant store manager and the produce manager, resented the drop shipments, because they were ordered directly by Mister Santoni himself, meaning that Stump did not get any kickbacks or tickets to the ballgame from the deliveries and Stump’s grifting ass did not like that…

And there was another thing, something not suitable for polite conversation, that he had on Stump quite by accident.  So, one Friday afternoon, when Israel made that delivery while Mister Santoni was at another store overseeing the set-up, Stump shouldered Ed aside on the dock and the following conversation ensued:

Stump:  I didn’t order this shit.

Israel:  Your boss did.

Stump:  I’m not signing for this.

Israel:  I think ya are.

Stump:  How ’bout I beat the black off you?

Israel:  How ’bout you try?

Stump:  You know I had four fights back in the day, as a pro.

Israel:  Is dat so, Slick?  Well, one: dat were back in the day, and two, dey gots somethin’ in boxin’ called weight classes, and they gots rules—so let’s have at it.  Ed, you da ref!

Stump:  How ‘bout I call the police?

Israel:  Bet you would if you was white—but you Eye-talian!

Stump:  Look, I’m jus’ not signing for it.

Israel:  Okay, Ed, you know what I seen one day when I was puttin’ da lemon juice order away, in the produce box?

Stump:  What?—no…

Israel:  Well, I didn’t see much, ‘cause dat produce girl had a big fat ass en Stump, so it turns out is not named Stump for his five foot of height!

Stump:  Really, Flood, I was just joking with you.  I was goin’ ta sign you in!

Israel:  Oh, in dat case, I apologize fo noticin’.  You didn’ hear nothing Ed.

Stump:  Fuck you and get the fuck back to the jungle that spat you out!

They all three laughed and went on their respective ways.