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Monday, March 1, 2021

Pittsburgh Safety Patrol

 

Captain’s Desk
Shelia Dryfus Attending
July 1, 2041, 9:45 A.M.

 

R

ichard Wayne Pensky

Reporting Missing and Unrecovered: Orlando, Florida in January 2032

Suspect in the murder of Shah Ali Khan of Basra, Iraq, in Philadelphia, PA, June, 17 2041

Felony Warrants: Impersonating an Immigrant, Failure to await Safety Certification, Vacating the Scene of a Medical Crime 

Medical Warrants: Pandemic Denialism, Failure to Register Psychiatric Symptoms, Evading Contact Tracing [no statute of limitations applicable], Attempt to Violate Safe Space, Willful Child Endangerment, Failure to Comply with Face Covering Ordinance

Warning: Richard Wayne Pensky was a member of the militant underground bodybuilding cult known as Fit Grit, and is thought to have escaped an FBI raid on the gym he attended in Orlando in 2028 in Violation of Federal and State Wellness decrees.  He is thought to be the last of the seven Fit Grits who survived the raid to evade reeducation and medication.  The subject is therefore regarded as extremely dangerous, unnaturally fit, and likely to be a carrier of various pathogens to which his training regimen has given him unnatural tolerance, and should be assumed to be carrying influenza, cold, and other viruses likely to cause Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome.  Though the subject is assumed to be unarmed, he is regarded as extremely dangerous, as he is suspected to be engaged extensively in such illegal disciplines as lifting free weights, occidental plyometrics, cage combat and boxing.  

Approach with extreme caution, only after notifying Overwatch and requesting Tactical Relief.

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